Your cutely gurgling baby can give you so much happiness. When you come home from work, your toddler’s hug can tell you how much he/she misses you, magically erasing all your weariness. Your school-aged child’s accomplishments, no matter how small or big, will never fail to make you proud. At times like these, you know that parenthood can be wonderful and fulfilling.

Having children, however, isn’t always easy. There is the other side to it: parenting. Life isn’t perfect for anyone, and your kids will have their own share of challenges to handle and overcome. You will be their first line of defense and support. Your children’s success in life will depend so much on how you raise them. How can you become an empowered parent who raises empowered children and enjoys the job?

You need all the help you can get—isn’t it said that “it takes a village to raise a child”? Counseling can be a great benefit in helping you manage your child-related issues and your children. Having a counselor to run to when you are challenged can proactively prevent a small concern from erupting into a major one.

Understanding Your Role

Raising a child can be very challenging. It requires time, effort, and love. The younger the child, the more physically demanding it can be for you. As they get older and more skilled and independent, it can get physically easier but more emotionally demanding, especially if they have a medical/emotional condition or disability.

There is no single best way to raise your child. You have to try different approaches and parenting strategies to find out what works for your child. Parenting is more than physically taking care of children. It is also about providing them with opportunities and an environment conducive to developing social skills, life skills, and appropriate behaviors, while considering their unique personalities.

In general, your responsibilities as a parent are outlined by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (cited by Good Therapy):

• Providing affection, order, and consistency.
• Setting and enforcing limits for children.
• Monitoring friendships children make.
• Seeking help for any medical or behavioral concerns.
• Understanding the challenges of parenting.

Recognizing Your Limitations

Your great love for your child cannot change the fact that you have weaknesses and limitations. As the most influential person in their life, you have the power to inspire or discourage them. You are their role model, so they are likely to absorb your ideas, behaviors, and beliefs, as well as your views, prejudices, and preferences, especially in their early years. Thus, your strengths may become their strong points and your weakness their flaws. Accepting your limitations is productive, as it can take you down the path of seeking professional assistance and improving your parenting techniques.

It is important to understand that much of what you bring to your parenting comes from the way your parents raised you. Just as they weren’t perfect, neither are you. Your parents had their shortcomings, which you may have unconsciously incorporated into your life and parenting. You have weaknesses that may limit you. Your children may likely repeat them without being aware of it, even when they used to hate these things about you.

Your power to influence your children wanes as they grow older. There will come a time when what the teacher says can’t be violated. In their tween years and adolescence, they will likely be swayed by their friends’ and peers’ opinions and culture. Around this time, they may even consider you their enemy, especially when you are laying down rules that run counter to what they want. You may regain your lost influence when your child becomes an adult and realizes that “parents know best” or that you only have their interests at heart.

How can you tell if you need parent counseling?

The site Dr. Nicki says you can benefit from parent counseling if two or more of these are troubling you:

• Anxiety from constantly arguing with your child or spouse.
• Feelings that you have to “tiptoe” around your spouse or child just to avoid an argument or temper tantrum.
• Feelings of inadequacy because you cannot control your child’s destructive and/or unhealthy behaviors.
• Fears that your child’s emotional and behavioral problems will intensify as he/she ages.
• Concerns that past traumas will continue to follow your child into adulthood.
• Fears that your past experiences will affect your ability to be a good parent.

How Can Therapy or Counseling Help?

Parenting can be very challenging, because your child may have issues to resolve, but you may also have concerns of your own. If you have an emotional condition, parenting can be extremely challenging. If you are faced with tons of personal, domestic, or work issues, you can be overwhelmed. While you can’t be a perfect parent all the time, you want to do your best for your child. This is where counseling and therapy can help you.

If your child is the one weighed down by an emotional condition, it can be extremely difficult for you to help. Leaving them to manage their issues on their own may be risky and difficult, as they live with punishing symptoms on a day-to-day basis. Your child needs to be helped, just as you do.

Becoming a proactive and empowered parent is attainable, if you seek the assistance of a counselor independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services — Pittsboro, NC. The right counselor or therapist can provide you with the guidance you need to be an empowered parent and better enjoy parenthood.

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