Adolescence can be a critical time filled with enormous changes and challenges. Even emotionally healthy teens may have difficulty when there are additional complications at this stage in their lives. This can be a critical time for self-esteem and confidence to grow or diminish. Support in building self-esteem is essential making relationships even more important, the healthier the relationships the better! The challenges of your child’s teenage years can be more difficult to overcome if their self-esteem and confidence are low. While you may understand the importance of both, it can be difficult to know what to do to foster the development of a healthy sense of self in your teen. A trained therapist can be a helpful ally in this area.

Understanding Self-esteem and Confidence

Self-esteem is largely connected to how people see and feel about themselves, considering their qualities and abilities. What many adults may not immediately recognize is how their early experiences can impact their self-image and self-worth. A child who had a painful or traumatic past is vulnerable to low or unhealthy self-esteem in their next stage of development, which is adolescence.

During their childhood and early adolescence, the barometer for self-esteem usually focuses on how they look. While this is a pretty consistent issue, it does NOT have to be the standard of measurement for your teenager. The sooner these factors are discussed and addressed the better. Children can learn to build their confidence and self-esteem from other values, though this cannot happen through silence.

How Can You Measure Self-Esteem?

You know that self-esteem is important, but you are probably wondering how in the world do you measure something like that? According to the Child Institute, self-esteem can impact a teen’s feelings and it is often reflected in their behavior. For example, if your child has high self-esteem, they will likely:

• act independently
• assume responsibility
• take pride in their accomplishments
• tolerate frustration
• attempt new tasks and challenges
• handle positive and negative emotions
• offer assistance to others

Conversely, low self-esteem can be reflected in behaviors, such as:

• avoiding trying new things
• expressing feelings of being unloved and unwanted
• blaming others for their own shortcomings
• feeling, or pretending to feel, emotionally indifferent
• being unable to tolerate a reasonable level of frustration
• putting down his own talents and abilities
• being easily influenced

Parental Challenges

Developing healthy self-esteem can be a tall order for your teenager, especially when they are experiencing a roller-coaster of emotions. They can have difficulty accepting support and kind words. They can stop exploring or trying new things, which may be a necessary part of growing-up. They may be difficult to talk to, especially when they build a wall around themselves, disconnecting themselves from you and others.

Troubled teenagers may not welcome your attempt to help them, perceiving this as an intrusion into their privacy. They may also consider you an outsider, thinking that you couldn’t possibly understand what they are going through. Bridging the gap between you and your teen can be critical to being able to help your child develop their self-esteem.

How You Can Help

Teenagers need a lot of support, even when they are all too eager to be independent. This is a time in their life when they will likely face many challenges, potentially making them vulnerable to negative thoughts and feelings. Negativity has been singled out to be their biggest obstacle to a happy adolescence. Counseling can help them feel good about themselves, and so can you.

Self-esteem starts developing in their childhood. You can help them develop a healthy sense of self and confidence in themselves. Parents can also reinforce positive values and provide professional help when necessary. A positive narrative can start with you.

Like your teenagers, you can similarly benefit from counseling. As an empowered parent, you can assist your teen in clarifying their concerns and be resilient in the face of their challenges. You can create a nurturing and positive environment, particularly when they doubt themselves or experiencing insecurity. You can also impose discipline that teaches responsibility rather than self-loathing and self-doubt.

Journeying with Your Teen

Like most loving parents, you will most likely “move heaven and earth” to ensure that your child will have a memorable adolescence. Unfortunately, just being a loving parent may not be enough to raise a happy and productive teen. From puberty onwards, you may discover that they are changing so fast, you may wonder where has your easy-to-get along child gone. Don’t give up just yet. You have the power to make a difference.

Therapy can help address your teen’s self-esteem and confidence. With the help of the right, independent therapist contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Pittsboro, NC, you can help your teen develop a healthy level of self-esteem and confidence. Call us now to book your first appointment.