Improving Family Communication: How Counseling Can Help
People wanting to form bonds with one another is accepted as part of human nature. Through these associations formed we can meet our social, emotional, intellectual, physical and spiritual needs; as well as fulfilling a need to be connected with others. The home is where people may originally establish these connections and meet these needs.
This can sometimes be a difficult task, especially when life presents its challenges to your family, such as the expectations of being a “perfect” parent, sibling rivalry, financial constraints, illnesses, and the loss of loved ones. These issues can become a source of anxiety, emotional apprehension and dissatisfaction, which can quickly escalate into bigger conflicts. Whether impacting your entire household or only one of you, these unwelcome attitudes can complicate the dynamics of interaction among the people in your home.
The Value of Family Communication
Effective communication can be the key to creating and a strong and nurturing home environment, both in good and difficult times. Recognizing the importance of family communication, however, may not be enough, if someone is experiencing conflict, strain or hardship, a more conscious effort can be what is needed. Some family issues can cause members to withdraw or misunderstand each other, and there may be other challenges, such as substance use, which can contribute to the associated symptoms or disruptive behaviors.
Improved family interaction is more than just a way to resolve conflict; but it can be an efficient approach to resolving your issues and difficulties, and be a way of sharing joys and expressing love. An open and honest atmosphere in which it’s easier to express inner thoughts, can result in more effectively addressing the differences that can arise.
The Effect of Poor Communication in a Family
Every family is unique and each one can be characterized by their different methods of expressing ideas. While good communication can come in various forms, poor communication can manifest itself in a lot of ineffective or harmful ways. These can include:
- Abusive speech, screaming, foul language, or name calling
- Blaming
- Refusing to talk to each other or “the silent treatment”
- Labeling a child as disobedient, instead of focusing on the undesired behavior
- Keeping too many secrets
- Sarcasm
- Using passive-aggressive statements, threats or ultimatums
Research shows families that chronically use poor communication are identified as less likely being close to one another (Samek, D. & Rueter, M., 2011). The complications can be magnified when a family member has a co-occurring disorder who may demonstrate the following symptoms:
- Withdrawal
- Depression
- Irritability, angry outbursts and mood instability
- Inaccurate perception of other’s words and actions (which can lead to anxiety or paranoia)
- Unreasonable demands of others
- Lack of concern for others
- Misinterpretation of common social cues, such as facial expressions or gestures
- Failure to meet obligations
- Lies and broken promises
Ideally each family member should participate in helping to address conflicts in a productive way so they can maintain a strong bond in the future.
Emphasizing the Need to Talk
Poor communication can escalate individual stress into shared issues among family members. For example, other siblings may feel neglected, ignored, or jealous if parents devote special attention to one child. The negative feelings can manifest as behavioral trouble at school and outbursts at home. These feelings may also cause a sense of guilt for the parents. Deficient modes of interchange are also a risk factor for divorce, marital separation, and behavioral problems in children.
The challenges you may be facing, can develop into a variety of emotional and behavioral issues. Without an opportunity to openly express the undesirable feelings, it can become difficult to properly identify the contributing factors that are hurting your loved ones. Family counseling services can help provide the environment conducive for members to talk and listen to one another.
The importance of communication is not only about identifying sources of tension in the home, but addressing each situation accordingly. Adults may be aware of the roots of a stressful situation, but may not be aware that some of their words and behaviors are negatively affecting others. Parents may communicate effectively with one another, but not with the children, which can lead to confrontations, angry outbursts, and inconsistent punishments.
Family counseling can be a healthy starting point for each member to fully share what they feel and experience. It can allow for the expression of unconscious messages shared through their behavior. While talk therapy is an effective way to reduce the conflicts you may have, counseling can also be beneficial in better understanding nonverbal exchanges, and develop self-awareness of how their actions may be sending a different signal than the words they say.
Facing Life’s Obstacles as a Family
Families that have gone through a trauma together can usually identify the source of their mutual distress. Although each member may be profoundly affected in different ways, the residual hurt can be resolved through family counseling. Family counseling offers 10 best things to provide effective help, including improving communication skills.
Family counseling may also be beneficial in helping everyone learn how to effectively communicate throughout the healing process. A counselor can help you develop the right skills to enable members to encourage each other on a collective journey to recovery. The constructive behaviors displayed within this healthier environment creates more harmony and can enable early intervention if warning signs become noticeable.
Learning to Communicate through Counseling
The family is one of the most important relationships you can have. It may be grounded in unconditional love, but some events can upset it. A household that fosters the open expression of emotions and feelings, may be more capable of facing challenges while being there for each other through listening and sharing.
There may be times when your usual methods are not working, and the help of a family counselor may be necessary to develop the appropriate skills, so you can gain stronger, more meaningful bonds. Counseling can be both an important and rewarding decision by making it a priority to improve your daily interchanges within your family.
If you feel that your family is having difficulty communicating with each other, and you want to create a more positive environment. Let the right fit counselor independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Pittsboro, NC help you improve your family communication. Call today to schedule an appointment!