Can Resentment Destroy Your Relationships?
Resentment is a common emotion, we use the phrase all the time, but do you ever stop to ask what it is and if it’s impacting you? Cleveland Clinic describes resentment as; “a complex, multilayered emotional reaction to being mistreated or wronged by another person, situation or series of circumstances”. Resentment can leave us feeling bitter, angry and even disgusted. It’s hard to feel good after being mistreated, resentment makes sense. While these feelings are often to be expected, they can cause damage not only to those who are hurt but also to those closest to us.
What Resentment Looks Like
It is difficult to be in a relationship with someone and not have some sort of conflict or disappointment. No one is perfect and mistakes will be made in any kind of relationship, romantic or otherwise. When slights go unrectified and conflicts go unresolved resentment can begin to creep in.
If you find that negative feelings keep coming up and your view of the other person is more negative than positive, your relationship may be impacted by resentment. It is natural to feel angry from time to time, but if it’s hard to let go of this anger, resentment may be present.
How Can Resentment Impact Your Relationships?
Resentment can cause a great deal of difficulty in relationships if it is not processed. If you are holding on to resentment in relationships you may notice the following;
- Difficulty trusting one another
- Often expecting the worst
- Feeling unable to connect emotionally
- Lack of communication
- Decreased intimacy in romantic relationships
- Frequent arguing
- Passive aggressive behavior
- Avoidance
When we are feeling wronged and there is no resolution is it hard to move forward, especially if concerning behaviors are continuing. You can’t move forward if behaviors and slights are in your present.
If resentment is leading to conflict and breakdown of your relationships, you aren’t alone. It is possible to work through resentment and let it go.
Therapy and Resentment
Resentment is a natural human emotion and is understandable after a betrayal or transgression. Working with a licensed counselor can help you to identify where your resentment is coming from and explore ways to validate how you feel and move forward. You don’t have to stay stuck.
Ignoring or avoiding resentment will NOT make it go away. In fact, it will likely make it worse. If resentment is impacting your relationships you don’t have to wait for things become unmanageable to make a change.
Carolina Counseling Services in Pittsboro, NC contracts with skilled licensed therapists. You can choose to engage in individual counseling, couples counseling or both! Processing your feelings and finding healthier ways to move forward in therapy is possible. Call CCS today to get started!