Children can give you so much happiness. When you come home from work, your toddler’s hug can tell you how much they missed you, magically erasing everything else. Your school-aged child’s accomplishments, no matter how big or small, will never fail to make you proud. At times like these, you know that parenthood can be wonderful and fulfilling.

Having children, however, isn’t always easy. There is the other side to it: parenting. Life isn’t perfect for anyone, and your kids will have their own share of challenges to handle and overcome. You will be their first line of defense and support. Empowering yourself can help give you the support you need to feel at your best. 

You need all the help you can get—isn’t it said that “it takes a village to raise a child”? Counseling can be a great benefit in helping you get the support you deserve and develop effective skills. Having a therapist can help you to be the best version of yourself.

Understanding Your Role

Raising a child can be very challenging. It requires time, effort, and love. The younger the child, the more physically demanding it can be for you. As they get older and more skilled and independent, it can get physically easier but more emotionally demanding, especially if they have a medical/emotional condition or disability.

There is no single best way to raise your child. You have to try different approaches and parenting strategies to find out what works for your child. Parenting is more than physically taking care of children. It is also about providing them with opportunities and an environment conducive to developing social skills, life skills, and appropriate behaviors, while considering their unique personalities.

The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (cited by Good Therapy) identifies the following roles for parents:

• Providing affection, order, and consistency.
• Setting and enforcing limits for children.
• Monitoring friendships children make.
• Seeking help for any medical or behavioral concerns.
• Understanding the challenges of parenting.

Recognizing Your Limitations

Your great love for your child cannot change the fact that you have weaknesses and limitations. We all do! As the most influential person in their life, you have the power to inspire or discourage them. You are their role model, so they are likely to absorb your ideas, behaviors, and beliefs, as well as your views, prejudices, and preferences, especially in their early years. Thus, your strengths may become their strong points and your weaknesses their flaws. Accepting your limitations is productive, as it can take you down the path of personal growth and discovery.

It is important to understand that much of what you bring to your parenting comes from the way your parents raised you. Just as they weren’t perfect, neither are you. Your parents had their shortcomings, which you may have unconsciously incorporated into your life and parenting. You have weaknesses that may limit you. Your children may likely repeat them without being aware of it, even when they used to hate these things about you.

Your power to influence your children wanes as they grow older. In their tween years and adolescence, they will likely be swayed by their friends’ and peers’ opinions and culture. Around this time, they may even consider you their enemy, especially when you are laying down rules that run counter to what they want. You may regain your lost influence when your child becomes an adult and realizes that “parents know best” or that you only have their interests at heart.

How Can Therapy or Counseling Help?

Parenting can be very challenging, every child is different and requires a different approach. Life is challenging and you will have your own obstacles on top of parenting. If you are faced with tons of personal, domestic, or work demands, you can be left feeling extremely overwhelmed. While you can’t be a perfect parent all the time, you want to do your best for your child. This is where counseling or therapy can help.

Therapy can provide a space for you to process your feelings and experience. You can receive validation and challenge unhelpful beliefs and/or behaviors. You can learn effective ways to communicate and resolve conflict. You can improve yourself and your relationships. The possibilities are endless. 

Counseling can help empower you to be the best version of yourself, for you and those close to you. Carolina Counseling Services – Pittsboro, NC contracts with skilled, licensed counselors and therapists. Find the therapist that is right for you with CCS. Call today to get started!

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