Suspecting that your teen child is self-harming can be frightening. Yet, it can come as a shock in realizing that your child is counted among the statistics of 13 to 23 percent of American adolescents engaged in self-injury. Why would your teenager want to hurt himself/herself? Understanding the truth about self-harm can help you to respond with the appropriate steps that are vital in supporting your self-injurious child.

Facts about Self Harm

Self-harm or self-injury is a person’s tendency to hurt his/her own body without the intention of ending life. This compulsive behavior involving the deliberate harming of one’s own self physically often begins around the ages of 12 to 14, a confusing period when many young people experience negative emotions such as sadness, distress or anxiety.

Teenagers often resort to self-harm as a way to suppress difficult emotions, thoughts or memories. In its most common form, self-harm involves cutting, burning or taking non-lethal overdoses. There are, however, other ways people can hurt themselves. These can include physical methods such as under or over-eating, self-poisoning, and deliberate engagement in fights that can cause injuries. It can also involve intentionally doing emotional things that can cause oneself to be upset.

Any behavior done as a way to restrain difficult emotions through harm or injury, whether minor or high-risk, is considered self-harm. The pain derived from self-harm serves as a temporary and false mask from overwhelming and distressing thoughts or feelings. The relief is often followed by feelings of guilt and shame. As the emotional pain does not really go away, the act of self-harming continues in an attempt to navigate through negative feelings, thus continuing the cycle.

The Diagnostic and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-TR) includes self-harming behavior as a symptom of borderline personality disorder. Recent research, however, indicates that the behavior co-occurs with other behavioral and emotional health disorders, such as depression, anxiety, conduct and oppositional disorders, eating disorders, and substance abuse. When untreated, these health challenges create an environment of despair that drives vulnerable people, especially teens, to endure their circumstances in an unhealthy way such as self-harm.

Why Young People Self-Harm

Everyone can be affected by stress and worry about the many things happening in their lives. Some can face them on their own, while others are able to overcome their difficulties with help from family and friends. Some people, particularly teens, are more at risk of self-harm to vent their anger, depression, distress, or worries as a way of expressing the negative thoughts and feelings they cannot openly articulate.

Self-harming is often thought to be an “attention-seeking” act. In truth, teenagers who resort to hurting themselves keep their acts in private and feel upset when people regard their behavior in this way.

Some of the triggers or reasons that may lead young people to self-harm can stem from a wide range of issues that may include the following:

• Troubled family life/difficulties at home
• Childhood trauma or abuse
• Problems with friends
• Peer pressure
• Bullying in or out of school
• School pressures
• Behavioral and emotional health issues, such as stress, depression, anxiety and low self-esteem
• Transitions and changes, such as relocation or changing schools
• Alcohol and substance abuse

When the pressure of a few of these issues comes together, they can be too overwhelming and unbearable for a young person. There is the tendency to self-harm for lack of means to escape the hurt, anger and pain. Not knowing what else to do and thinking there are no other options, young people turn to themselves and use their bodies to:

• Express intense, complicated or buried sentiments
• Prove they are not to be ignored
• Show they are in control
• Achieve an immediate sense of pain to mask emotions
• Convey the need for support (not attention)

For other self-harming teenagers, there seems to be no direct cause attributed to the behavior. There may, however, be certain situations or times that can likely trigger self-harm, like the end of a relationship. Every self-harming teen experiences the conduct differently and the reasons vary from one young person to another.

Knowing your teen child has self-harming behavior is indeed alarming. It can be difficult to understand the reason why your child is engaging in such terrifying conduct. Whatever the reason, it is important to listen and understand instead of judging or ignoring the self-harming behavior. It may be beneficial to seek professional help since self-harm is one of 9 reasons to say yes to counseling now to help your child identify the underlying reason and learn new skills to reject the compulsion to self-harm.

Spotting the Warning Signs of Self-Harm

The fact that your child will try to keep the signs hidden behind clothing or cover the inner turmoil with a seemingly calm disposition results in it being difficult to detect the signs of self-harm. There are, however, red flags that can give away the unhealthy behavior, so you can reach out and seek appropriate help for a teenage child you are worried about.

The signs to look out for include:

• Unexplained wounds or scars
• Blood stains on garments and other clothing
• Covering up with long sleeve clothes despite hot weather
• Giving excuses to avoid swimming
• Isolation and irritability
• Strange excuses for injuries
• Intentional “accidents”
• Possession of sharp objects or cutting tools
• Changes in eating and sleeping patterns
• Secretive about feelings

It is important to keep an eye out for one or a combination of these signs that your child may be contemplating or already engaged in self-harm.

Outgrowing the Pains of Self-Harm

The stage of adolescence is a life phase when an individual undergoes extensive physical, cognitive, behavioral, emotional and personality changes. It is a developmental stage with greater vulnerability to emotional hazards that affect the health and happiness of young people. Puberty may have something to do with activating the hormones responsible for human emotions.

While it appears that self-harm is relatively common among young people, many teenagers will tend to stop hurting themselves once they have fully developed biologically and emotionally. If, however, your teenage age child manifests prominent or persistent symptoms of self-harm that are not resolving for months, then you are at the point where professional intervention should be sought.

Asking for help is very important if you want your young child to stop the self-harming behavior. Your child is in a crucial period for developing the necessary knowledge and skills necessary for enjoying the teenage years and later for assuming adult roles. You don’t want your child to resort to self-harm and be deprived of a happy childhood and a great future.

Your child may need the help and treatment of a credible professional in developing strategies to stop self-harm. Let the right fit therapist independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Pittsboro, NC work with your child to explore the difficult thoughts and feelings triggering this compulsive behavior. The longer you wait to receive help, the more difficult it can be to stop your child from self-harming. Keep in mind the good prospects that await your child. Call CCS – Pittsboro, NC to schedule an appointment for teen/adolescent counseling services.

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