A happy marriage isn’t about not having conflicts. Conflicts are part of every relationship, especially for couples who live together. Part of making it work is living with each other’s differences. This can breed conflict. The longer you live under one roof, the more reasons you have to argue, especially when children are added into the equation.

Disagreeing is inevitable, but your disagreement doesn’t have to grow into a major issue that threatens or destabilizes your relationship. It doesn’t have to be so unhealthy that your love for each other becomes less important or not enough to mend the threatened relationship. It should not make you miserable enough that leaving the union is the only way out of the unhappiness.

Even when you love each other passionately, your relationship requires hard work. The decision to be bound in marriage, especially in young marriages, can stack the odds against you. Is there hope for a lasting marriage? Yes, there is. If you are eager to make your marriage work, don’t avoid conflicts. Face them in a healthy way, and be proactive in seeking the help of a counselor.

Understanding Marital Conflicts

“Conflict is inevitable and unavoidable in any relationship—especially marriage,” says Focus on the Family. It is normal to have conflicts with your wife or husband, because you are two different people raised with different family cultures, beliefs, and maybe even faiths. These differences are not bad, but they can cause major issues if you react to them badly.

When your husband leaves the toilet seat up or the toothpaste oozing on the bathroom counter, you can forgive him a few times, until you get fed up. When your stay-at-home wife keeps a cluttered home or your wife with a demanding job can’t attend to family needs, you want to understand her, until you can’t take it anymore. These minor issues can’t be sidestepped all the time. Eventually, they may trigger a major fight.

Not all conflicts start big. Most are minor issues that are ignored to avoid confrontation. If you resolve them earlier, they won’t build up. The thing is, discussing these matters is not always easy for all couples. A marriage counselor can help you learn to handle them before they become serious.

Communication: Building Healthy Interaction

As a couple, you have probably received advice from people you know about what worked for them in their marriages. It may also work for you, or not. No one knows for sure. The most important things are to stay positive, be proactive, and seek help when you can see that your efforts alone aren’t working.

Most married couples have opinions on making their marriages work, including working on effective communication. You and your spouse are unique, and so are your issues. While it is true that communication is very important to resolve your conflicts, it isn’t easy to build healthy communication in a marriage when issues have already escalated.

Talking about your marital issues is healthy, but it requires skill. It also requires positivity and being proactive in order to commit to restoring and strengthening communication. Communicating with each other in a healthy, loving way is a skill that every couple must develop and hone. Keeping your issues stewing inside will only make them worse. The good news is that an experienced counselor can help you and your spouse improve your communication skills to make your interactions healthy and effective.

Experiencing a Happier Marriage

For marriage to work, teamwork is necessary. Ideally, both partners are willing to seek help, but this is not a perfect world. If your spouse is unwilling to see a marriage counselor, do not be deterred. You can still work on your marriage with the help of a counselor independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services — Pittsboro, NC.

It isn’t easy working alone on your marriage, but it can be done. A counselor from CCS can help you build positivity in your relationship that may help elicit a positive response from your spouse. Counseling can also guide you through the tough times. Remember that struggles can make you and your spouse stronger as individuals. With the help of a counselor, you can grow closer and stronger together.

What’s in store for your marriage? No one knows, but you can make it stronger by taking the positive and proactive route of seeking help from Carolina Counseling Services — Pittsboro, NC. Counseling can help your marriage work.