What To Do About
Your Child’s Angry Outbursts
Your Child’s Angry Outbursts
All people get angry, even children. For young children, acting out may be a reaction to a confusing situation or feeling. As they grow older and understand more about their emotions, learn what is acceptable behavior, and how to manage their feelings, these outbursts usually occur less often.
However, if your child has frequent, unjustified, and intense outbursts of anger it could be helpful to consult with a professional. Healthy discipline and consequences can be effective if the problem is their behavior, however, if the root concern is emotional this may not be as effective. Anger is often an indicator that something else is going on.
Knowing the symptoms of emotional health concerns can help you decide when to see a therapist. If your child has an emotional or behavioral condition, early intervention can be key.
Your Child’s Anger as a Symptom of Something More
Your child’s anger may be a symptom of a more serious problem, and that deserves attention. Frequent and intense outbursts can have damaging effects on your child’s emotional health and your family relationships. These symptoms often require unique interventions.
Knowing what triggers your child’s intense emotions can be helpful. Anger can be a symptom of various other conditions such as depression, anxiety, oppositional defiant disorder, bipolar disorder, etc. It can also be learned behavior if their reactions are similar to how those close to them express their feelings.
If your child is constantly having outbursts, you likely want to know if this is a normal passing phase or if it needs professional attention. It is true that all children have meltdowns or tantrums from time to time. However, if they are happening too often or continue past school age (seven or eight years old), you may want to intervene.
Depression is often thought to be synonymous with sadness, however, many that experience depression report also experiencing extreme irritability. Anxiety is also characterized by irritability. Excessive fear can be expressed through anger. Oppositional Defiant Disorder includes symptoms of defiance and being easily provoked to anger. Bipolar disorder is characterized by unwarranted mood changes and irritability. According to Dimitri and Janice Papolos of The Bipolar Child, “the rages of children with bipolar disorder are more intense and lengthy.”
If anger is impacting how your child functions and interacts with the world it is often best to intervene sooner rather than later. This can help to alleviate symptoms and allow your child to move forward.
Tracing the Roots: Anger in the Family
Anger may be so deeply entrenched in your family that it takes root and becomes almost like a “culture.” Anger can be a powerful emotion that’s difficult to control, and outbursts can damage relationships. Young children learn through observation and can learn how to express their feelings by watching those closest to them.
If this sounds familiar, know that it is never too late to change unhealthy patterns. Anger is complicated and it can be difficult to learn how to express it in a healthy way. It is one of the few emotions that is considered a secondary emotion, meaning we often feel angry because we are actually feeling something else. Generally, this is a feeling that leaves us feeling vulnerable, making anger an appealing alternative. Examples can be feeling alone, scared, worried etc. Anger can be an easy, temporary alternative, though it keeps us from addressing the real problem. You can learn new ways of approaching anger. Family therapy can help you, your child and even your family learn healthy ways to express and deal with intense feelings like anger.
Raising a child who is experiencing a great deal of anger can be extremely challenging. Traditional parenting techniques may not be able to elicit the response that you’d expect. A trained counselor can help you and your child learn new techniques to manage challenging emotions and behaviors.
Taking the Next Step
Anger can be complex, but you don’t have to address it alone. Counseling can help you and your child. Working with a therapist can help to identify the root cause of your child’s anger and ways to best treat their symptoms. A good first step may be to call Carolina Counseling Services — Pittsboro, NC, and schedule with a licensed therapist who can help. Anger is powerful, but you aren’t powerless. Call today to schedule your first appointment.