Overwhelm:
How to Avoid Marriage Meltdown
How to Avoid Marriage Meltdown
Many couples get married in the hope of experiencing comfort and safety in a committed relationship. Who doesn’t want to feel loved and taken care of? Despite all the good things that can come from being in a healthy relationship, it is possible for your marriage to suffer if either of you is feeling overwhelmed. When overwhelm sets in, disillusionment, defeat, and dissatisfaction can overshadow your partnership, no matter how dedicated you are as a couple.
Why a Marriage Can Feel Overwhelming
People tend to feel overwhelmed when daily life presents too many challenges to manage. For married couples, there are various reasons why a relationship can be overwhelming. For instance, if one partner is having doubts about the relationship, it can drain a lot of physical and psychological energy. Amidst the uncertainties, you may be making an unconscious effort to prepare for the possibility of getting hurt.
Insecurity can also lead to feeling overwhelmed in a relationship. Living with a person who makes demands, tracks your movements, and controls your life can be too much to deal with.
Some partners will jump into a relationship before they are ready. This can result in a great deal of conflict and difficulty, especially if you or your spouse decided to get married before feeling ready. Missing out on the crucial preliminary steps of dating and getting to know each other can take a toll as soon as the initial excitement of being in love fades.
Unfortunately, many couples lack the healthy coping skills to manage conflicts as they arise. Fighting with someone so close to you can be upsetting, causing you to avoid problems or stuff feelings until you feel like you may explode. A lack of knowledge about how to resolve conflict can contribute to a growing sense of frustration, hurt, and unrest. You may even begin to feel disconnected from your partner causing communication and intimacy to suffer.
Symptoms of a Dangerously Overwhelming Relationship
No marriage is free of conflicts and complaints. Overwhelm can manifest at any point in marriage, especially if you are dealing with a variety of stressors such as financial concerns, work demands, parenting disagreements etc. Major life transitions can also add another layer of complication.
Overpowering negative emotions, such as profound sadness that may lead to severe depression, chronic fear, guilt, or persistent anxiety, make it hard for an overwhelmed person to distinguish between thoughts, beliefs, and reality.
Anger may surface when we are feeling overwhelmed. Feelings of irritability, sadness, or anxiety may become so intense that we feel panicked and may have outbursts in response.
If one partner is feeling overwhelmed this will likely make it difficult for them to complete tasks and may lead them to avoid their daily routines. This can in turn be overwhelming and frustrating for the other partner. The longer these cycles continue the more damage they can do.
Treating Overwhelm in Your Relationship
It is natural to feel overwhelmed. Life can be stressful as can relationships. Overwhelm does not have to cause breakdown, burnout, or marital tension. This does not have to lead to the end of your relationship.
If you have become disenchanted with your marriage and are seeing the warning signs of burnout, therapy could be just what you are looking for. Although there are ways to feel less overwhelmed by your relationship, it takes more than vigilance to have a healthy relationship. Early intervention can be better and more effective than damage control.
If you are willing to make some changes, seeing a counselor can be a great first step forward. Find a nonjudgmental, licensed counselor who specializes in helping people recover their healthy mindset, an essential element for healthy relationships. Carolina Counseling Services — Pittsboro, NC contracts with therapists who can help you recover from overwhelm. Call today to schedule your first appointment.