Loss is an inevitable part of life. Though we can be strongly affected by the loss of many things—a pet, marriage, health, friendship, source of financial stability, etc.— the amount of grief we experience can vary. There Is no “right way” to grieve, though there are times where our pain impacts our ability to live our lives and move forward. 

Mental Health America says that “In our hearts, we all know that death is a part of life. In fact, death gives meaning to our existence because it reminds us how precious life is.” However, this thought doesn’t lessen the devastating impact of losing someone you love. As days roll into nights and nights into days, you may find that your grief changes. The deeper your relationship with the person, the more intense it may be. You will never really forget, though the pain usually changes. 

Even with an aching heart, you know you must continue to live for yourself and for your other loved ones. This can be difficult when grief lasts longer than expected or becomes more intense with time. This is often what is called complicated grief. When this happens, you may benefit from the help of a professional therapist. 

Give Way to Grief

After losing someone, you will grieve. It is a natural reaction, a strong basic emotion, and a universal experience. It isn’t a weakness that you must fight. You need it to overcome the pain. In fact, according to the University of Washington, healthy grieving is embedded in human genes, making it “an active process.”

It takes time to be able to live with your loss, depending on the intensity of your grief, your relationship with the person, and other factors. There is no timetable or expiration date for grief—you will grieve in your own way. It is personal, just like healing. For some people, healing may take longer. 

Grief Is a Highly Personal Experience

Grief is a different experience for different people. Nonetheless, it can be influenced by a number of conditions. For instance, it can be more difficult to accept a loss that happened accidentally or unexpectedly. The feelings one experiences following the loss of an immediate family member or a best friend can be very strong.

If your loss involves a child, there can be complicated feelings of guilt and hopelessness over lost dreams. The grief that comes with losing a spouse or head of the family can also be traumatic, as it may be complicated by the loss of a planned future together and/or financial concerns.

What is Complicated Grief?

Though grief is natural, it is also natural to heal, accept the loss and move forward. If this feels impossible, you could be dealing with complicated grief that is unlikely to go away on its own. 

Loss is not something a person ever completely recovers from, but time typically tempers the intensity of grief. However, Good Therapy says that “complicated grief refers to a persistent form of bereavement that dominates a person’s life, interfering with daily functioning for an extended period of time.”. Some of the symptoms of complicated grief are:

• Intense sadness
• Preoccupation with the deceased or with the circumstances surrounding the death
• Longing or yearning
• Feelings of emptiness or meaninglessness
• Difficulty engaging in happy memories
• Avoidance of reminders of the deceased
• Lack of desire in pursuing personal interests or plans
• Bitterness or anger

Complicated Grief Treatment

It is true that grief has no expiration date, but don’t you wish you could continue to remember your loved one without the heaviness in your heart? Don’t you wish you could find ways to see the many other sources of meaning in your life?

Remember that grief is natural and healthy, and so is recovering from it. The intensity of the pain will diminish in time, allowing you to remember your loved one with fondness. If your grief is holding you back from moving forward you have choices—call Carolina Counseling Services — Pittsboro, NC.

Grief takes many shapes. There is no way to know how it will affect you until it happens. It can powerfully overwhelm you, taking over your life. If it does, know that you are not alone. Call CCS today to schedule your first appointment.

Related Articles:

• The First Steps to Overcoming Grief and Loss
• Living with Loss without the Grief
• Positively Transforming Your Life After Grief and Loss