Toward An Enduring Marriage
Couples plunge into marriage for different reasons. The Huffington Post lists ten possible rationales for marriage, including the fear of staying single, desire to grow old with someone, a baby on the way, and social pressure. Generally speaking, though, people get married because they love the person they are tying the knot with.
Unfortunately, not all relationships last for a lifetime. Some couples are able to make it work for a few years, and even have children, but then find themselves filing for a divorce. They may angrily conclude that they should not have gotten married at all, without really trying to settle the issues.
Marriage Takes More than Love
While love is the catalyst for a committed relationship, it is not enough to sustain it, especially when bad things happen. eHarmony stresses that love, no matter how good, is never enough for a healthy marriage. Love can get and keep you in the game, but it is not enough to play the game well. If the couple coasts on love alone, the relationship is bound for trouble when a crisis occurs that love cannot resolve.
Marriage is a playing field that requires couples to use their emotional and life skills. Since many of these skills are not inherent and not taught, it is not surprising that so many marriages break up, even if they are based on love. For marriage to endure, it has to be grounded in integrity and respect.
Sadly, these can easily dissolve when issues become too many and too painful to be handled with objectivity. The couple needs to talk and work things out so they can move on from these issues. Seeking help from a non-partisan and non-judgmental marriage counselor is one way to handle this.
Marriages Are Worth Saving
With all the headaches and heartaches involved, why are people deciding to get married? Marriage sometimes receives bad publicity, but people are still walking down the aisle. What makes marriage so appealing?
The truth is that most people yearn for the security and warmth of an intimate relationship with another person. The love and acceptance continue as long as the level of expectation is met. When needs are not met, it can cause hurt, misunderstanding, defensiveness, anger, and bitterness, and the ability to love each other can be paralyzed. In spite of your best intentions as a couple, you may come to the sad realization that all your needs cannot be met all the time.
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, especially between two different people deciding to live together as husband and wife. You will disagree and argue, but you don’t have to escalate your conflict to such an extent that it threatens or destabilizes your relationship. Without a doubt, your marriage is worth saving, and it requires hard work to make your marriage endure. You need to be proactive in nurturing the love that brought you together and sustaining the foundation of your bond with marriage counseling.
Repairing a Damaged Marriage
All marriages experience problems, whether you’ve been married for years or months. As a couple, you can face a variety of challenges and trials that can cause anxiety, anger, resentment, and hopelessness to take control of your relationship. Studies show that the most destructive and devastating traumas are those caused by someone you care for and trust, such as your husband or wife. There is nothing more painful than the emotional wounds that can occur in marriage.
You have the right to feel upside down if your marriage is in crisis. It is understandable if your body, mind, and emotions are out of balance. Keep in mind, however, that every crisis has a solution. Fortunately, in most relationships, there are proven ways to fix things. In your case, you probably need intervention to build a bridge from pain to a lasting reconciliation.
Help to Achieve a Durable Marriage
Ending your marriage is not the only solution if you’re hurting, having disagreements, or having difficulty communicating. Your marriage is not doomed; you have the option to save it and make it last.
If you are experiencing marital issues that are causing pain, consider the personalized and intimate marriage counseling program offered by Carolina Counseling Services — Pittsboro, NC. Thousands of couples in situations more complex than yours have benefited from the caring and non-partisan help of counselors independently contracted with CCS — Pittsboro, NC. Call now to set up your appointment with the right-fit professional who will work with you and your spouse to help your marriage happily endure.